If the Seasons Change, Do I Have to Change Too?
The leaves are turning, and pumpkin spice lattes are back in full effect. For many of us, fall symbolizes change, especially if you're starting fresh in this new school year. But here's a question worth sitting with: when the seasons change, do we have to change too?
Why Does the Season Change Feel Like Pressure to Change, Too?
Many of us treat January 1 as the natural start line for reinvention. But some of us look to fall instead. The truth is, change doesn't have to be tied to a season. It can happen at any point in the year, or any point in your life. So where does this pressure come from?
Life transitions can bring on a sense of FOMO. Watching friends get married, have kids, change jobs, or move can add to a mounting pressure to reinvent yourself. Seasonal change and mental health are more connected than most of us realize, and that pressure is worth examining. Is it helpful, or is it hurtful?
How Seasonal Change Affects Mental Health and Self-Image
The changing seasons can reduce motivation and emotional wellbeing for some people, especially those living with seasonal affective disorder (SAD). But fall leading into winter can affect mental health and self-image in less obvious ways too.
The holidays that follow (Thanksgiving, Christmas, and others) often bring an uptick in the desire for connection, and with it, pressure to show up a certain way in social settings with friends, coworkers, or new acquaintances. Sharing good news, a new relationship, a new job, another milestone, can start to feel like something you need to have ready. Social media adds to that pull to appear like you're taking on the world.
Putting that kind of pressure on yourself will only leave you feeling exhausted, frustrated, and more depressed.
How to Enjoy Seasonal Change Without the Pressure
Gratitude, acceptance, and mindfulness can help you reflect on exactly where you are, instead of where you think you should be. These practices support better self-esteem, improved mood, and less stress, because you're no longer competing with anyone but yourself.
As the weather cools and we start to notice nature slowing down, there's a lesson in that. Allowing yourself to recharge, reflect, and reset can be just as valuable, if not more, than trying to keep up with everyone else.
Three Questions to Ask Before You Reinvent Yourself
When you're thinking about making a change, sit with a few questions first:
1. What's motivating this desire for transformation?
Is it interest, inspiration, or necessity?
2. What am I willing to do to make this change?
Goal setting can feel daunting, but SMART goals (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound) can help make your goals realistic and time-limited. Seasons only last a few months, so ask yourself what's realistic for this one.
3. Is this change necessary?
Change can be sudden and out of our hands, but fully reinventing yourself usually isn't necessary, or realistic. Practicing self-acceptance, showing yourself kindness, and learning to love who you already are, matters.
Self-discovery and growth don't happen overnight, and rushing the process rarely gets you the results you're looking for. Viewing yourself as a work in progress, and honoring both your strengths and your areas for growth, leads to more sustainable, gradual change than forcing yourself into a new set of parameters for who you think you ought to be. Pressure to be someone or something you are not is unsustainable. So when you're thinking about change, consider the source.
Change often happens in increments over time. If you're feeling called to pivot, that can be a genuinely positive experience. Doing it gradually, being specific about what you want, and coming from a place of self-acceptance and gratitude, is what makes the change meaningful.
Whenever you're ready.
If you would like to learn what care at SRWC could look like for you, we would be honored to hear from you.
Serving New York and New Jersey, virtually.
A gentle note: This post is educational and isn't a substitute for individual therapy. If you're navigating a difficult season and could use support, SRWC offers virtual and in-person care across New York and New Jersey. If you're in crisis, call or text 988, contact NYC Well at 1-888-NYC-WELL, NJ Mental Health Cares at 1-866-202-HELP, or call 911 in an emergency.
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